my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
