Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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