Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There's always time for handjobs
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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