just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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