dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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