Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Only a mothe r could love this liver
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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