genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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