The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
