At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
