at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
