I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
