There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
