News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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