at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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