I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
