this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So vagazzling was a success
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
