Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
