Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
