so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
