Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Your penis caused this!
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