He is an equal opportunity slut.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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