why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
