when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
zippers are such a cool invention
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
