ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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