Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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