a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
