she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
