Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
