y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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