I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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