do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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