so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
