She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
