i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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