why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
