Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
