I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
