The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
