Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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