im drinking this country out of the recession.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
