Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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