it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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