You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
