I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
