One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
