dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We have started to decorate penises.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
