Pappa wants mamma naked
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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