it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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