I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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