So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We need to get me chipped asap
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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