She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
