Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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