Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
