ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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