I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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