OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
