We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
